Not Everyone Deserves a Seat at Your Table

Not everyone who enters your life has the same intention.

Some people are there because they genuinely care about you. They show up when it matters. They stay when it is hard. They tell you the truth even when it is uncomfortable. Those people are rare. Hold onto them.

But some people are there because you are useful to them. They show up when they need something. They disappear when they do not. They are around for the good times, the wins, the moments where being associated with you benefits them. And the second things get difficult, they vanish.

I learned this the hard way.

The Lesson Failure Teaches About People

When I was running Clear Property Investment, I had a lot of people around me. A lot of handshakes. A lot of lunches. A lot of people telling me how great everything was.

Then the breakdown happened. And the silence was deafening.

The people who were there for the lunches were gone. The people who wanted to be associated with the success wanted nothing to do with the failure. Phones stopped ringing. Messages stopped coming. People I thought were close turned out to be strangers wearing familiar faces.

And you know what? That was one of the most valuable experiences of my entire life.

Because it showed me, with absolute clarity, the difference between people who valued me and people who only benefited from me. It stripped away every illusion I had about certain relationships and forced me to see them for what they actually were.

Patterns Tell You Everything

You do not need a breakdown to learn this lesson. You just need to pay attention.

Look at the patterns. Who reaches out when they do not need anything? Who checks in when you are going through it? Who is consistent in how they treat you regardless of what you can offer them at that moment?

Those are your people.

And the ones who only appear when they need something? The ones who always have an excuse for why they were not there? The ones whose effort perfectly correlates with how much they can get from you?

Those are not your people. They are visitors. And visitors do not deserve permanent seats at your table.

Clarity Over Bitterness

I want to be clear about something. This is not about being bitter. It is not about cutting everyone off or becoming suspicious of every relationship. That is a different kind of poison.

This is about awareness. It is about protecting your energy and your time by being honest about who actually deserves it. Not based on what they say, but based on what they consistently do.

My father used to tell me that not everyone who smiles at you is your friend. I did not understand that until I lost everything. Now I do.

So take a moment and think about this honestly.

Are you recognising who truly values you? Or are you allowing the same patterns to repeat because it is easier to pretend than to confront the truth?

Because once you get that clarity, everything changes. Not with bitterness. With freedom.

To your success.

Tahar
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Read the full story of my journey in my book, Fail Your Way to Success.