Just Doing Me, Why Living on Your Own Terms Is the Only Way
The Approval Trap
Most people are living someone else's life. They just haven't realised it yet.
They pick the career their parents wanted. They stay in the city their mates stayed in. They post things online for validation from people they barely know. Every decision filtered through one question: "What will people think?"
And the cost? Massive.
You wake up one day, 30, 40, 50, and you don't recognise the life you've built. Not because it's bad. Because it's not yours.
I've watched talented people shrink themselves to fit into rooms they were never meant to stay in. I've seen entrepreneurs kill their best ideas before they even started, all because someone at a dinner party raised an eyebrow. That's not living. That's performing.
If that sounds familiar, I wrote about this cycle in depth in my post on why you need to stop living for approval.
What "Just Doing Me" Actually Means
Let me be clear, this isn't about being selfish. It's not about ignoring everyone and doing whatever you feel like with no regard for consequences.
"Just doing me" is about clarity. It's about knowing who you are, what you want, and having the backbone to pursue it without needing a round of applause from the audience.
It's making decisions from your centre, not from your fear.
There's a big difference between arrogance and self-assurance. Arrogance says, "I don't care about anyone." Self-assurance says, "I've done the work to know myself, and I trust what I've found." One is reckless. The other is powerful.
The people who change the world, the ones who build things, create things, move things forward, they're not waiting for permission. They've already decided.
Tune Out the Noise
Opinions are everywhere. Social media made sure of that. Everyone's got something to say about how you should live, what you should chase, who you should be.
Your family has expectations. Your friends have opinions. Society has a template. And most of it is well-meaning. But well-meaning doesn't mean well-suited.
Here's the truth: nobody else has to live with the consequences of your choices. You do. So why would you hand the steering wheel to someone who's not even in the car?
The noise never stops. You just get better at turning down the volume. You stop scrolling for validation. You stop explaining yourself to people who aren't on your level. You start protecting your energy like the asset it is.
That shift changes everything.
Self-Trust Is the Foundation
If you don't back yourself, nobody else will. Full stop.
I've said this a hundred times and I'll say it again, self-approval is the only approval that matters. Not your boss's. Not your ex's. Not some stranger's on the internet.
Self-trust isn't something you're born with. It's something you build. You build it by making hard decisions and sticking with them. By failing and not falling apart. By learning what you're made of when things go sideways.
Every time you honour your own instincts, even when it's uncomfortable, you're laying another brick in that foundation. And eventually, it becomes unshakeable.
I Did It Anyway
People have questioned every major decision I've ever made.
Moving from London to Dubai. Leaving industries I'd built reputations in. Writing a book when people said, "Who's going to read that?" Launching into new ventures when the safe option was sitting right there.
Every single time, someone had an opinion. Every single time, I listened politely, and then did what I knew was right for me.
Not because I thought I was smarter than everyone. Because I'd done the work. I knew myself. I understood what I was building and why. That self-knowledge, truly knowing yourself, is what gave me the confidence to move when others would have stayed.
Were there failures? Plenty. I wrote an entire book about them. But every failure taught me more about who I am than any safe decision ever could.
The Freedom on the Other Side
Here's what nobody tells you about living on your own terms: it's quiet.
Not quiet as in boring. Quiet as in peaceful. The internal chaos stops. The second-guessing fades. You stop performing and start living.
You wake up and the day is yours. Your goals are yours. Your energy goes where you decide it goes. There's no resentment, no "what if," no looking over your shoulder at someone else's path.
That's freedom. Real freedom. Not the Instagram version, the kind you feel in your chest.
It doesn't come from money. It doesn't come from status. It comes from the decision to be unapologetically yourself, no matter what.
So if you're sitting there right now, living a version of your life that was designed by committee, stop. Take the wheel back. Start doing you.
Because at the end of the day, "just doing me" isn't a catchphrase. It's a way of life. And it's the only way that leads anywhere worth going.
To your success.
Tahar
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Read the full story of my journey in my book, Fail Your Way to Success.